Rip quick like a band-aid

Yes, Obama won, and its a very exciting moment for our country. I have always been interested and amused by politics, and I like to be informed before I make a decision that I can defend.

Others make political decisions based on what colors are their favorites, what will help them get that hot chick in bed, or how bad their vagina itches that day. I happen to be friends with some of these people. They love to tell everyone how they feel on facebook, and it has been keeping me entertained (and slightly scared) for hours. Here are some facebook status updates that I found particularly retarded. And by retarded I don't mean "stupid." I mean, flat out, extra chromosome, puzzle piece bumper sticker, Trig Palin, retarded.

"McCain lost because all the people who wanted to vote for him had to be at work."
God, that's is so true. While all of those whitey's were building up this economy that is doing so well, all those Rashondas and Jerimas put down their crack pipes, cashed those welfare checks, let out a huge, wet fart, and then voted.

"Im just praying the next four years rip quick like a band-aid... :-("
What an analogy.

"praying for God to win back our nation"
Bitch, were you even paying attention this year? It was Obama and McCain. The God/Jesus ticket is in 2012.

"Im not looking forward to poverty, food stamps, and war"
America as of 2008:
Poverty? Check.
Food Stamps? Check.
War? Check.

"Bush is still president for 2 1/2 months!"
Thank GOD! A beaming ray of light in these dark, dark times.

"Im moving to Canada"
I can understand the thought process of this. "I'm for the war, proposition 8, and against universal health care, and my candidate lost! So I am going to move to a country that does not have troops in Iraq, has legal same-sex marriages, and publicly funded health care. Why didn't I think of this earlier!"

All I have to say to these people is that it will all be OK. In a couple of days you will get a new episode of Gossip Girl, or your daddy will buy you that yellow iPod nano that shakes to shuffle, and you will realize that life isn't so bad. And if all else fails, you probably just need to get laid.